Geek Warp Speed: The Star Trek Putter

I suppose this might be the best way to test out your golf nerves – can you putt while all around people are slapping their palm to their heads, mocking you loudly or throwing their clubs, beer bottles and the golf cart at you?

Will you kiss the putter head and mutter ‘prime golf directive?’ (get it in the hole?)

Instead of the “stimpmeter,” will you use a Kobayashi scale?

Go bold where no golfer has gone before … or dare go.

I’d like to see someone pull this out in a round at St. Andrews – the caddies will carry you by the cliffs and toss you over …

Yes, it is an official licensed product: the Golfsmith U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 Putter.

Order it here.

It is limited to 1,701 and actually not expensive as putters go ($129) but then what good is a putter that you can never take it out of your house … or can only use it on a course where you have to hit a ball through Abe Lincoln’s mouth?

Much better just to say you won it online at startrek.com.

(I believe this is our first post where our TAGS are Star Trek, golf).

P.S. – if you are sadly beaten to another realm with this putter, here’s your final resting place …

Why is the NFL so Cheap?

At an NFL game, when the field goal kicker is about to boot the ball, they send two guys to run up a net behind the goal posts.

Why? To protect the people a good 50 yards behind the net? If you’re sitting behind the goal posts, can you not see a 12″ inflated leather obolong ball drifting towards you?

No, because the NFL does not want you to get a “free” football.

Every once in a while, the ball will fly over or skip past the net so what happens? At a baseball game, you hold up your ball to cheers or even get to auction it for millions. At a hockey game, hopefully, you didn’t lose too many teeth but at an NFL game?

EVENT SECURITY scurries over to take it back – if you don’t hand it over – ARMED POLICE OFFICERS come over.

I’ve seen them take a ball away from a 9-year old kid.

Is that REALLY how the NFL wants to be seen?

As cheap skinflints?

For a ticket that costs at least $50-$75 face value and perhaps hundreds of dollars for buying a season ticket? Or a bottle of water costs $5 dollars? Or the multi-BILLION dollar TV contracts or the free stadiums built by cities is simply not enough to cover the cost of losing a few footballs (not even pigskin anymore – cowskin now)?

Is a football all that costly?

It’s $100 retail but what does the NFL pay for it? $15? Even at full retail and let’s say they lose 5 balls a game (unlikely) – you mean there’s not $500 in the budget for footballs?

How many baseballs are lost in a game? 50? 60? 100? I’ve seen at-bats where a guy fouls 12 balls into the stands. The NFL would chase all those back?

I’m sure they might call it a safety issue? But tell me that it’s less dangerous to have someone heave a baseball or hockey puck back into the field? Or how far can most non-NFLers chuck a regulation football at a “dangerous” speed? And if you can, shouldn’t that guy be signed?

70 years ago, a football might’ve been a day’s wages and the league was run on a shoestring but now, tell me the jumbo shrimp catering budget is not 10 times as large for EVERY NFL team? Well, maybe not the Bills.

It’s time to let a few football fly into the stands and stop snatching them away from kids who retrieve them.

Are you really that cheap, NFL?